|
|
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
| |
12:25 am - I hate life sometimes
|
Yeah so i'm just pissed off right now, I don't know if i want to post it yet, but i wanted to at least get that out in the air. Why do people even though they know you like someone still flirt or hang all over them or what not???? HUH?? HUH??? Anyone??? (see can't you tell i'm mad, or upset i don't even know anymore.) Why do i have to be ruled by my emotions? Why would i ever think someone might actually like me? I'll tell you why cause i'm stupid, thats why. And i won't cry over it, i won't let myself even though i want to very badly almost as a way to get rid of some of the pain, but people have to stop walking all over me. I need to stop letting them, I have to put my foot down. I need to start being more assertive. I'm so lonely i just wish i just had someone to even if it were to hold me and talk to. I would be the most happy person in the world. I'm not looking for love, or anything, just someone for the time being to keep me company. I'm just going to wind up an old cat women anyways so what does it matter right? And i get told all the time, you'll meet someone and they will be perfect and the one. I'm 20 years old i don't need the one right now, what i need is some fun, why is that so hard?? And i thought someone was into me, but god only knows now and its pissing me off cause there is more to it that i don't care to talk about on the computer. Life blows dogs for quarters.
current mood:  pissed off
current music: life sucks (is that a song? if not it should be)
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 11th, 2003
| |
9:40 pm - GER!!!!
|
So today sucked, it just started off bad. My parents woke me up talking loud. Then i went to work, i worked from 12:30 to 8:30 without a break because of Mothers Day. Yay for mothers day. Then i got writen up, that sucks to say the least and i don' want to get into it. So i'm pissed off about that. Then my hand got burned. causeing me to cry in front of Jay a boy i work with because it was just really the straw that broke my back. Then I got dinned and dashed on, by a table. But Dean said he wouldn't write that one up. SO today was one of my least better day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. i wanted to go watch shane play baseball tomorrow (a guy i work with) but i can't cause i told this boy Pat i would work so he could play. So i'm sad about that too. Oh but on a happy note i did make it through the tornados with Mitch last night. we had a good time.
current mood:  drained
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 10th, 2003
| |
12:20 am - we got a new key board!!!!
|
So we got a new key board as you can see. it's very exciting. Well i have not updated in a while just due to the fact that i didn't feel like taking about bryan. I don't know he was in one day and didn't say anything, then i saw him tonight so i went up to him and said hi, and said i thought we were going to hangout and he was like well i don't have any money and i was like well thats not a problem we don't have to do things that coast anything, and he was like well it helps. So i don't know. sarah saw it and she said he didn't seem to intrested so i should give up. I understand where she is coming from but if i gave up on people so easy like that i wouldn't have as many friends. I've had to fight to keep some of them, so i'm not the quiting type. I mean i take alot of shit from people and i shouldn't but thats who i am. I could change it but its more easy said then done cause then i feel bad and crap. I don't know. I don't want to give up hope cause you should always have hope right? but like i said before i'm not holding my breath. it just sucks cause its not like i have a fall back or anything i'm right back to where i started, nothing. Thats just the hardest part about anything like this. It just never seems to go in my favor. And i hate it when people play love dr. and are like you'll find someone they are out there. You just need to give it time. well thanks that makes me feel loads better, why didn't i come to you sooner? sorry if i sound bitchy but you have to give me some slack and understand. I dont want to be a dried up old spinster, and that seems to be the road i'm headed down. and i understand i'm not old but when your this far down you don't see light. I wish i could be like the movie down with love and not have any emotion tied into it, and only have sex but i don't even get sex so i lose both ways. and i discoverd i don't like advice. i don't take it very well i feel its more like i'm being told what to do, and for somereason i don't like that. I use to be able to take it but not anymore. I just feel like i'm being bossed, and not like in the work force i can take it but, at home or some place i just get upset now. This is a me problem, that i have to solve cause i should be albe to take advice. I think its just a stage right now that will pass. I mean i don't not take it i listen to it but i most likely will not use it. Its much like my mom telling me to clean i was going to do it to be nice and let it be a supprise but now that you have told me to do it, i don't want to. I just need to do things on my own time. Thats how i've always been even if i've done otherwise, i just like to do them when i want to. If i want to strole i want to strole, if i want to clean, i'll clean, but i don't wnat to be told to clean or strole. I don't even know what i'm talking about anymore i'm just upset. a good way to go to bed and work tomorrow right? Yeah when i work a double it will be real peachy. i am most definitely lonely right now. it seems. i should really follow that song more cause if i did i wouldn' be so worked up i would beable to look at myself and feel good. we'll see.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Unpretty by TLC
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, April 26th, 2003
| |
12:26 am - Why?
|
Why/am/i/so/gullible?
Why/am/i/fooled/so/easy?
Why/do/i/get/my/hopes/up?
Why/am/i/so/trusting?
Why/can't/i/get/a/date?
Why/am/i/talking/about/this?
So/as/you/can/tell/its/a/week/later/and/no/call.
Just/as/well/i/guess.I/don't/know.
I/mean/as/much/as/i/try/to/be/the/glass/is/half/
full,a/part/of/me/knew/he/would't.
I/hate/being/the/agressive/one,so/i/don't/want/to
try/and/get/ahold/of/him.
cause/someone/at/work/i/bet/has/his/number.
but/i/don't/want/to/go/out/of/my/way/to/get/it/
cause/he/didn't/give/it/to/me.
But/who/knows/maybe/i/should/stay/optimistic/that
he/could/call/but/i/won't/hold/my/breath.
Whatever/though/right?
Someday/right?
I/don't/think/anyone/has/the/answers/to/my/questions.
But/on/a/happy/note/I/don't/know/who/knows/but/
remember/Gavin/who/i/met/inLA?
Well/he/was/on/LastCall/last/night!!!!!!I/taped/it.
Its/so/exciting/im/so/happy/he's/going/to/be/huge
Watch/out/for/GAVIN/DEGRAW.
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Free Bird
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
| |
12:22 am - sugar
|
So/i/had/sugar/about/an/hour/ago/and/i/can't/sleep/
now/what/a/shock.
I/sure/could/dance/right/now/i/think/i/will/i'm/
listning/to/FISCHERSPOONER/right/now/and/they/make/me
dance."DANCE/LITTLE/DUTCH/BOY/DANCE!!!!!"
So/its/been/being/talked/about.the/whole/boy/calling/me/thing/and/the/3day/rule.
Now/he/said/friday/he/would/give/me/a/call/and/whatnot/so/if/that/was/the/case/i/should/have/got/a/call/
today.
But/then/it/was/brought/up/that/it/could/be/buisness/
days/and/in/that/case/they/started/today/and/wed/
would/be/the/3rd/day.
But/then/its/up/to/do/they/call/on/the/3rd/day/or/do/
they/call/on/the/4th/day/because/they/had/3full/days
inbetween/then?
Well/so/far/i'm/going/with/its/buisness/days/and/thatthey/call/on/the/4th/they/give/it/3full/days/you/know
that/way/its/more/in/my/favor.
Any/oppinions(sp)?
I/mean/this/phone/call/is/not/going/to/make/or/break/
me/but/eh/it/would/just/be/a/nice/change/is/all.
Everclear/asks/a/good/question.WHERE/DO/ALL/THE/PORN
STARS/GO???? I/love/that/song.*dances/away*
current mood:  awake
current music: Emerge by Fischerspooner
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 20th, 2003
| |
10:39 pm - another/day
|
So/i/have/decided/i/just/need/to/get/over/tomquinn.
I/know/i/will/always/have/somekind/of/feelings/for/
him/or/something.
But/for/the/most/part/i/just/need/to/get/over/him.
There/is/a/song/by/The/Used/called/Bulimic.
Some/of/the/song/is/how/i/feel/now.
and/the/other/is/where/i/feel/i/would/windup/if/i/
keep/pushing/the/issue.or/where/we/would/windup.
and/i/want/to/beable/to/be/friends.
I/don't/know.I/shoul/really/go/though.
I/work/a/double/tomorrow.
current mood: tired
current music: Bulimic by The Used
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, April 19th, 2003
| |
1:30 am - oh/man
|
Ok/so/my/story/tonight/might/not/be/exciting/to/some.
But/its/very/to/me.
So/i/was/working/tonight/it/was/Manda's/friends&
family/night/tonight.
Well/after/like/everyone/was/gone/i/went/and/talked
to/this/boy/brian/who/use/to/work/there/who/was/
eating.
We/talked/about/what/he/was/up/to/and/different/
things.
Then/i/went/and/finished/my/sidework.
After/i/got/off/work/he/was/still/there.
So/i/went/to/say/goodbye.
He/put/his/arm/out/for/a/hug/and/i/went/in/to/give/
him/one/and/he/gave/me/a/kiss/on/the/cheak.
Now/i/know/you/are/like/so/what/but/i've/never/
even/been/kissed/like/that/before/so/it's/big.
Then/he/was/like/well/i/have/your/number/i'll/give/
you/a/call/sometime/and/we/can/hangout/do/something
fun.
I'M/BEYONED(sp?)/THRILLED.
if/any/thing/happens/i/don't/know.
just/right/now/my/little/world/is/very/happy.
Other/than/that/i've/just/been/working/really.
and/the/reason/i/picked/greenday/that/song/was
on/when/it/happened.
For/the/full/story/ask/me.
i'm/more/then/happy/to/tell/you.
i/just/don't/feel/like/writing/it/this/late.
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: Waiting by Green Day
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
| |
7:30 pm - and/i/was/like/WHATEVER
|
Cause/this/is/my/united/states/of/whatever.
and/this/is/my/united/states/of/whatever.
I/love/that/song.
yeah/so/not/much,hungry/must/fix/that.
so/i/don't/think/i/can/have/anymore/buddys/on/with/
away/messeages/up.I've/hit/my/max/7/is/more/than/
enough.
:)
oh/man/i/also/have/to/pee.
so/i/guess/i'm/going/to/leave/this/as/a/crap/entry
but/i/really/start/chilis/tomorrow/and/i'm/going
to/go/and/clean/my/room/tonight/and/tomorrow.
so/yeah.this/is/very/much/whatever.
perfect/song/for/today.
current mood:  hungry
current music: my/united/states/of/whatever.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
12:06 am - That/song/makes/me/want/to/dance.
|
I/love/that/song.
I/found/this/on/mikeys/page.
Whitch/is/back/up/and/running/aslo.
Nice/to/see/you/back/again/guy. ;)
Name: Amanda
Nickname: Manda
Birthday: 7/8
Birthplace:Crookston
Hometown: R.M.
Living Now: R.M.
=Now=
Current mood: There.
Current music: Light/My/Fire
Current taste: stuff.
Current hair: Short/i/cut/it/and/purple.
Current clothes: Bye/Bye/Birdie/shirt.
blue/with/yellow/moons/and/stars/on/them.
Current annoyance: hum/nothing/at/this/min.
Current smell: air?
Current thing I ought to be doing: something/else.
Current windows open: windows?
it's/to/cold/to/have/any/open.
Current desktop picture: hell/if/i/know.
Current favorite band: Travis/Good Charlotte
/Fisherspooner.
Current book: Pat/gave/me/a/Peanuts/book/i'm/reading
threw.
Current cds in stereo: UPS/broken/mine.
so/they/are/going/to/buy/me/a/new/one.
Current crush: Lets/not/get/into/this.
Current favorite celeb: Orlando Bloom and Benji!!!
Current hate: next/question/please
Current job: Chilis.
=The last time=
Last book you read: hum/i/don't/remember.
Last movie you saw: Whatever/it/takes.
Last thing you had to drink: water.
Last time you showered: this/morning.
Last thing you ate: JBC
Last person you talked to on the phone: Sarah.
Do drugs?: nope.
Have sex?: saddly/no.
Give oral sex?: nope.
Receive oral sex?: nope.
Have a dream that keeps coming back?not/in/along/time.
Play an instrument? no/but/i/want/to/learn/the/drums
or/the/guitar.
Believe there is life on other planets?: only/if/they
belong/to/me.
Remember your first love?: i/dont/know/if/i've/ever
been/in/love.
Still love him/her?: um.
Read the newspaper?: do/comics/count?
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Only/my/boyfriend.
;)
Believe in miracles? yup.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? yes
Consider yourself tolerant of others? yes,sometimes.
Consider love a mistake? no
Have a favorite candy?: sour starbursts
Believe in astrology?: yeah/its/cool.
Believe in magic?: what/kind?
Believe in god?: yeah
Have any pets: COPPER
Do well in school?: eh.
Go to or plan to go to college: lets/not/talk/about
this/also.
Wear hats?: no.
Have any piercings?: yes/7.
6/in/my/ears.and/1/in/my/nose.
Have any tattoos?: yes/a/star/on/my/right/arm.
it's/cool/you/know/you/want/one.
Hate yourself?: not/right/now.
Have an obsession?: oh/man.
Have a secret crush?: well/its/not/a/secret.
Do they know yet?: Their/stupid.
Collect anything?: C
Have a best friend?: Yup.
Close friends?: Yup.
Wish on stars?: yes.
Like your handwriting?: no.
Care about looks?: whos?
=Love life=
First crush: Kindergarden/Dan.
Single or attached?: Kindof/I/have/a/b/f/and/g/f.
but/no/real/boyfriend.
Ever been in love?: who/knows.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yes.
Describe your ideal significant other: oh/man.
i/love/brown/hair/and/brown/eyes.they/have/to/be/sweet/but/also/funny.
if/they/are/skinny/or/not/does/not/really/matter(Benji).
if/i/really/had/to/say/it/would/be/a/tossup/between.
Benji/or/Orlando/both/totally/different/yet/both/what/I/like.
=Juicy stuff=
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: no/thank/god/on/one/wants/to/see/that.
Have you ever been intoxicated?: C.
Favorite place to be kissed?:(
Shy to make the first move?: yes
=Are you a=
Wuss: yes
Druggy: no
Daydreamer: yes
Freak: yes
Dork: yes
Bitch/Asshole: yes
Brat:no
Sarcastic: yes
Goody-goody:eh.
Angel: no.
Devil: THE/DEVIL?WHAT????
Shy: yeah.
Talkative: YES
Adventurous: sure.
Joker: i/love/to/laugh.
Flirty: with/who?
=Word association=
Rock: window.
Green: trees
Wet: hot/sticky/sweet
Cry: banana
Peanut:"right/here/on/me/left/nut"
Hay: Pee.
Cold: your/mom.
Steamy: the/back/of/an/old/van.
Fast: Donkey
Freaky: ME(oh/wait/oppps)
Rain: walk.
Bite: kiss
Suck: punk
Blow: drugstore/cowgirl
Hard: candy
current mood:  energetic
current music: Light/My/Fire/by/The/Doors.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, March 30th, 2003
| |
9:05 pm - so/scared.
|
So/tomorrow/is/my/first/day/at/chilis.
I'm/very/scared/about/starting.
I/have/to/take/my/frist/test/that/i'm/studing/for.
I/hope/i/pass.
Other/than/that/not/much/is/up.
current mood:  worried
current music: for/some/reason/i/can't/comeup/with/a/song
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, March 28th, 2003
| |
2:08 pm - YAY
|
So/i/just/took/this/test/and/i'm/so/happy.
It/was/what/GC/guy/would/you/marry.
I/GOT/BENJI!!!!!!
If/you/don't/know/my/love/for/him/yet/you/should.
he/may/be/a/little/chunky/but/i'm/cool/with/it.
Ah/that/made/my/day/so/far.
Benji- tehehe benji. the punky one. just dont make
me too jealous
Which Good Charlotte member are you likely to marry?
brought to you by Quizilla
AH/look/at/him/be/sexy.
That/pic/is/before/the/chunk,and/everything.
current mood: ecstatic
current music: 7/nation/army/by/the/white/stripes
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
12:43 am - so/guess/what
|
Ok/so/i/cut/my/hair/today.
It's/short/but/very/cute.
Sarah/cut/it/for/me,i/like/it.
Other/than/that/i/saw/mikey,and/tomquinn.
But/we/are/not/getting/into/the/tomquinn/thing.
it/just/really/makes/me/mad.
But/i/did/take/this/test/and/it/made/me/happy.
As/you/can/see/why.
Oh/and/i/guess/the/devil/works/at/walmart.
So/i'm/totally/happy/about/that.
Legolas
Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood:  hot
current music: Good/Souls
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
| |
10:42 pm - ARG!!
|
So/i/don't/want/to/totally/get/into/it/but/let/me/just/say/i'm/very/mad/at/tomquinn.
I/don't/know/if/i/should/be.
But/iam.
He/is/totally/getting/a/phone/call/tomorrow.
On/a/more/happy/note/I/GOT/THE/JOB/AT/CHILIS.
I'm/a/waitress/just/alittle/afraid.
Man/i/would/kill/for/a/spacebar.
current mood:  irritated
current music: Here/comes/the/sun.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
12:32 am - myspacebardoesnotwork
|
i'mjustlettingyouknowfirst.
soicandooneoftwothings,onwritejustlikethis,or
twoput/these/things/in/after/each/word.
whatdoyothing?Wellit'sbeenalongtime,fromwhenilastwrote.
Letssee,inolongergotoFIDM.
andidon'treallywanttogetintoit.
Otherthanthati'mhome,i'mgoingtostartworkingatChilis,
andschoolsomeplaceinthefall,
butwe'llseehowthecardsplay.
Ishouldgothoughidon'treallyhavemuchtosaytoday.
current mood: drained
current music: Creep/by/RadioHead
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
| |
12:32 am - yeah so....
|
so i guess i'm just not going to have a b/f anytime soon. but i'm learning to get over it. slowly. i mean if he asked me out i would say yes, but i'm not going to try anymore so we'll see, otherwise i hope i can find some one in L.A. but whatever, other than that i've been working. i have a few days off coming up so that will be nice. really the only thing in my life is the whole not b/f deal and i don't fell like getting into it,it's just not worth it really.
current mood: drained
current music: still haven't found what i'm looking for, by U2.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, July 19th, 2002
| |
11:48 pm - where is everyone when you need them?
|
so i just read the saddest letter from my grandma in mn. and i really wanted to talk about it with someone who would listen but there was no one online so i guess i'll just write about it. it started off sweet talking about her one cat that just had kittens, and how she named them muffin, and puddin, and cupcake, but then it just got so sad, she wrote how she can't hear out of her one ear, and how her vision is getting better but is still fuzzy. i've had many people die in my life but not a grandma, i mean i lost a grandpa but i was 2 i didn't get to know him. it's just so sad, i see little of her as it is, i just wish i could have gotten to know her better, or be able to hear her voice longer than i did. i'm told my grandma was a really funny lady, i wish i got to see that more. and now all i can think about is the gingerbread man "run, run as fast as you can. you can't catch me i'm the gingerbread man." and how i took that book from her when i was little because it was my fave. she still teases me about that one. :) i gave her a new better copy in return. still no one to talk to, i guess it would just be best to go to bed then.
current mood:  grateful
current music: your song, by sr.elton john
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, July 18th, 2002
| |
11:33 pm - BOYS SUCK
|
and make me want to cry. well i will cry when i go into my room later but that's besides the point. so you can just guess why i would cry, i got this email, and sent it out to someone, and one of the questions was 'have you ever had a crush on me' and he sent it back no. so yeah that sucks. all that time was waisted for nothing. i wish i had the esteem not to let this get to me but i don't, and it sucks. why do they have to lead you on, only lead you to an edge and kick you off? and don't worry about chearing me up, it's not worht the time.
current mood: depressed
current music: always a women to me, by billy joel
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, July 16th, 2002
| |
12:27 am - FINE!
|
So i'm updating. This is what has been going on in my little boaring life, I've been working, i worked 40 hours last week, i'm working like 30 this week. I had a birthday on the 8th, so now i'm 19, feels no different from 18 just makes me up there in years. Katie's grandma also passed away this weekend, so i've been seen her while she is in town, i went and saw her friday, after i dyed my hair, for those of you who have not notice, or those who i can tell don't like it, but i do and so does mike, and joe and i can live with it only being them if that is the case, then mikey had people over on sat and i went after working 13 hours. then today i went to the wake, i stayed from the time i got there till it ended, and then a bunch of us went to dennys, and i got to go into THE PARTY ROOM!!!! i'm rather happy. and when there we had a talk about live journals and how i don't update, and i found some people are just like me and are lazy, so i don't feel bad. And tomorrow i work, yay! oh and the rest of the week, and then i have sat off because i'm going downtown to see phantom plante, just so everyone knows where i am, and boys suck because i can't get one to ask me out. I don't know what one has to do to get a b/f around here. but so now i've updated, and everyone should be happy.
current mood: disappointed
current music: because boys suck.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, July 1st, 2002
| |
6:56 pm - lalala
|
10 bands youve seen live
1. Travis
2. Greenday
3. Bon Jovi
4. Matchbox 20
5. Backstreet Boys
6. Aaron Carter (i know but it's true)
7. NSYNC
8. Matchbox 20
9. Bon Jovi
10. Summer Bash 2001
9 things youre looking forward to
1. Movie to LA
2. Getting a b/f.
3. Anything from Travis
4. Wendys.
5. Kids
6. Winning an Oscar
7. Corn beef hash
8. Some day being skinny
9. Getting married
8 things you wear everyday
1. Glasses/Contatcts
2. deodorant
3. unerpants/bra
4. shoes or sandals
5. shirts
6. some sort of pants
7. anklets
8. earings
7 things that annoy you
1. People on the road
2. someone not getting my hints. I mean how much more out there do they have to be?
3. being fat
4. WORK
5. People who come into my work
6. And i know there are more i just can't think of them right now.
7.
6 things you touch daily
1. my hair
2. my eyes
3. my car
4. the sink
5. my cell phone
6. my bed
5 things you do everyday
1. sleep
2. eat
3. drink
4. go potty
5. TALK
4 people you spend the most time with
1. Sarah
2. Mikey
3. Tomquinn
4. others float in and out.
3 movies you could watch again and again
1. Goonies
2. Bring It On
3. Eddie Izzard's Dress To Kill
2 favorite songs of the moment
1. At My Most Baeautiful
2. Without Me
1 person you could spend the rest of your life with
I could spend? well almost anyone, but my husband would be the ideal though.
oh and i'm only annoyed due to work because it sucked today, and that someone does not get hints, he needs like it spelled out or something i dont know.
current mood: annoyed
current music: powerpuff girls theme
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, June 29th, 2002
| |
2:00 am - i'm selfish, shallow, oral fetish
|
and i'm a skinny person in a fat person's body. Have you found yourself today? I have thats me in a nut shell. So i have not updated in a while but thats fine whatever because all i've been doing is working really, I mean i guess i see people at times but nothing that stands out that i have to talk about it, I hit a possum the other day, and that's all i have to say about that. I'm going to go though i have a full day ahead of me, work and all they are making me clean the bathrooms. fun times.
current mood:  confused
current music: she's a lady by tom jones because it's forever in my head
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sweetpeanothing's journal